Sweet Dreams
by Periacta
Summary: ROTOQ, twisted into a different story.
1. I cant wait till the new Jodie Foster co...

AN: So…I woke up today, and of course, it's Monday, so I'm like-aww…crap. But I got up anyway, and…I looked at my arms…and they looked normal! (As much as any self-mutilator's arms can look normal) so I can finally begin to wear tee-shirts (not that I'll be showing my legs anytime soon)! And then, we got to school, and my exchange-student was feeling ill, and so she needed to be sent home, and it's required that host students go home with them, so, Yay! I get the day off!  
  
Real AN: Okay, so I got to thinking…there are all these fics where Magenta dies (gets killed, more accurately), and I know that's how ROTOQ goes and all, but I mean, somebody should give her a little break, keep in mind, It ain't easy being green. Or magenta. Get it? Ha-ha. Laugh. Now.  
  
I knew what was going on. When you know someone for as long as I've known Riff, you know them perhaps more than you know yourself. You know everything about them; you know what goes on in their brain, what goes on in their soul. And when someone's persona consists solely of three moods- jealousy, revenge, and passion-it's easy enough to see what they're up to.  
  
I also knew what he was planning, yet accepting it was a different matter. I loved my brother far too much to believe what he intended to do to me. To betray my trust to my brother was to-in a way-betray myself, yet, not doing so was just as dangerous. In the end though, other priorities came before me and him.  
  
So, when Riff entered the room, I was ready for him. That kitchen knife, that wonderful knife from earth, was still with me, unfortunately, it wouldn't be my own skin the blade was pushing through, this would be much more painful, for me, at least.  
  
Riff closed the door, not bothering to lock it. He knew I'd obey him, he knew I wouldn't run. As he walked from the doorway to the bed, I worked not to stare at him, not to tell him with my eyes what I couldn't with my voice. He sat behind me and started to rub my back, and spoke.  
  
"Have you ever known something, Magenta, that you didn't want to know, but now that you do, you need to do something, and you just wish you never knew anything in the first place? And you wondered how much easier it would have been if you hadn't known at all, if no one had told you, how much different things could have turned out?"  
  
Oh, god, my poor, poor brother. I already hated myself for what I needed to do. "No, Riff, I haven't. Why? What are you talking about?"  
  
"The problem, Magenta, is that you already know. You knew, and you didn't tell me. I would have understood, but you didn't tell me, and you know how much I hate to be kept in the dark. Maybe you didn't want to hurt me? Hm? I do hate to be away from you, you know that, which is why it's going to be so hard to-" He broke off, slumping against my back, his chin hitting my shoulder. It was done.  
  
I stood up, letting him fall onto the bed where I had been sitting. Falling onto him as he had to me just a moment ago, I rolled him on top of me, letting his weight press into me for one last time. Wrapping myself around him, I felt him rise and fall as I breathed. How I wish I could breathe for the both of us. I wish I could swallow his spirit and let it mingle with mine, keep him with me. I wanted to die right here, right beneath him, I wanted to bring him back to life. I wanted my tears to become magic, to resurrect him. I wanted everything but what I had-still- to do.  
  
The door opened, revealing a face that bore a painful resemblance to his.  
  
"Mommy?" The girl at the door let go of the doorknob, and let out a pint- sized gasp.  
  
Rolling my lover's body onto the bed next to me, I got up, picked up my daughter, and headed towards DeLordy's apartments, with my proposition. 


	2. Blatant Advertising: Go See Panic Room M...

AN: Okay, I know it's short…sorry, but I'm kind of going through a stressful time now…  
  
Rubbing my daughter's small back, I flinched as the coughs racked up and down her torso. My poor baby…I hated to see here suffer, and as much as I regretted—(don't think about it, just don't think about it)—the things I had done earlier in her life, to (stop it, stop it stop it, don't think of him anymore…It's gone, he's gone)—him, even I wouldn't wish to take that pain away from her…taking that away would—in short—only replace it with a pain so excruciatingly similar. Thank god she had no brother (no living brother)…I have no idea how that would have turned out. Again…thank god…or whomever, for small favors.  
  
My mind floated to the palace that we would return to in a few says. It would be pointless to state how much things had changed since I fled with The Prick two years ago, but so much had changed…or perhaps so little. True—little Livllia (AN: sorry, sorry…I had too. Those who don't get it…rent "I, Claudius") or 'Villa had grown, and could speak in full sentences now, and The Prick had come to a grudging acceptance of Riff and my little product. But not much had changed. I was still ridden with guilt, with sorrow, regret, loneliness, and other feelings that can only be explained by those who have lost their first and deepest love. These feeling were only magnified when I submitted to The Prick (which was truly the dullest sex I had ever had…It's surprising how unexciting sex can be…Frank would have been astounded to hear such disappointing news), and to go back to the last place I saw Riff (Stop saying that name…you only hurt yourself), the feelings would multiply exponentially.  
  
I feared going back, and I wished to God there was some way to get out of this…yet I was the one who had proposed the idea of visiting the Queen, paying homage to Her Highness, it was my idea, just as it would be my weight to carry on my shoulders, my millstone around my neck. Whatever happened, whatever ghosts confronted me, flaunting their bloodied consciences in my face, they were mine to deal with.  
  
AN: Review please, or I'll horribly guilt you for eternity. I'm very good at that, you know… 


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